Another amazing feature of my new phone! You can add animations, text, and all! It never ceases to amaze me. And with this, I now have my own version of the pikachu picture, which was popularized by Mikey Mike of course. And by the way Mike, thanks for adding up the BLOG ROLL in my template. You're the best! Soon, I will hire you and all you need to do is to update my blog and that you will be compensated way beyond your imagination. Hahahahahaha... That's one of the unimaginable thoughts ever!

Today was a bit sad. One of our best-est friend, Glauce, left for Dubai already. I tried calling her earlier so that I can bid farewell but she didn't answer my call. According to Mike, she was trying to avoid conversations about her leaving coz if that will happen, it will only make her cry. I completely understand Bessy. But then, I sent her a farewell message thru sms. I hope you were able to receive it Bessy Glauce. Every word I said there was true.

Now, on the lighter note, the badminton club here in the office is now back. We played earlier in Holiday Spa for like 2 hours and that was fun. If only I have enough air after a set... Darn! I can't quit smoking. Just picture me out after a winning set, quick break outside and light a stick of cigarette then resume with the game. After 2 hours of playing, which made me sweat like crazy of course, there's this 2 guys who arrived and they asked me if I can play with them. Thay wanna play doubles. So, I grabbed one of my officemates and there we played. Actually, I was super tired at that time and the reason why I said yes to them is that... the other guy, named "DON" is GORGEOUS! HOT! CUTIE! Gotta stick to our game schedules now. Whew! At least there's a reason for me to play... Weeeeeeeeeeeee...

Then, I had a dinner with a new friend. His name is Alex and he teaches Micro Bio in some College here in Cebu. He's still 24 years old and he's nice. Love those chinky eyes and those braces. I wonder how does it feel to kiss someone with a braces. Hmmmmmm.... That dinner date was wholesome and we talked about anything actually. And tomorrow, I will be having a drinking session with Mikey, Sheryl and I have invited him of course. *wink*

Damn I feel so lazy right now here at work. I don't know what to finish first... And that lead me to post an update in my blog. I don't care if I won't be able to finish all my reports. Today is my last day here at work for the week and I will be having my off starting tomorrow until thursday and i'm on leave this friday until sunday. I need to get out from this routine. Gotta do new things. And in line to that, I will be leaving for Dumaguete this Thursday to attend a colleague's wedding. I am sure this is gonna be fun. I hope there are interesting creatures in that city. *keeping my fingers crossed*

Well, i guess that's it for today. I'll just post something here when I get back from Dumaguete. Wish me luck GIRLS! Mwaaahhhh!!! ;-)

This picture was taken last Thursday when we had our Company Outing in Cebu Beach Club. That event was fun even if the beach is not that good and their pool came in handy instead and I had a blast at that time. Though there were no alcoholic beverages, which is a total bummer, still we've enjoyed all the "boring" activities. Let's say I had abrasions in my knees after playing beach volleyball. The first layer of my skin was peeled off and some scratches on my feet. La Tortura! Then I made this attempt to hit the ball on air and instead, I fell out of balance and BAM! that really hurts. I could really feel all my internal organs shaking after that big fall. Enough of this rubbish... the reason why I mentioned about our Company Outing is for me to have a valid reason to post one single pic of mine for today's post. Hehehehehehe...

The main reason for my post today is my ex (Wolverine). The ex of mine who returned some of the stuff I gave him including Paw-Paw. The last time we had this conversation was when he was accusing me of making some attempts in destroying his relationship with his current boyfriend at that time. I know what happened to us was bitter and I have hated him in some way but I know I am not capable of destroying someone's personal life. That is not me. And that was not the only time wherein he asked me something if I have to do with all those anonymous messages that they've received. Messages that could destroy their relationship. Celebrities just don't do that kind of act. Ugh! Bleech! Ewww! So there, I have decided that we should end up everything, even the friendship. I have asked him a favor that after our conversation, we will start deleting our numbers and that we should move on with our lives.

So, after a number of months, our paths would cross and we chose to ignore the existence of one another. That worked out. But you could really see in my face the anger. And again, maintain the composure as if I am not affected at all. Grrrrr... Mikey was a witness of that when we had coffee at e-tel.

And earlier today, after 9 hours of sleep, i've received a message from him.

Wolverine: Hello dear, u stil hate me? This is (name deleted) :-) got your number from Vince.

Right after I got that message, I've forwarded it to Mikey. I was really wondering what is he up to this time. Mikey wondered as well and his last statement was, "just be careful". So, the nice me, asked him what we wants and his reply was plain and simple. He wanted me to be his friend again. And I have explained to him the reason why I pushed myself away and he apologized, then he said, there's no reason now for him to do that again. It was clear that he conveyed to me the message that they broke up already. And now that he's single again, he's asking me to be his friend? Hmmmm... What am I? Second option or something? Ugh! I would love to think that I am not just a substitue or something but I can't help it.

Bitches, I will have to admit that I have accepted him again as my friend. I have forgiven him. Maybe this will help me in moving on. But this time, I know he lowered his pride and have texted me first. This is not him at all to lower down his pride. And exactly the reason why I thought that he really is up to something good. *I am keeping my fingers crossed*.

And his last message to me was... "Great! I'm happy we're friends again Pau..."

Happy indeed! I am happy right now. It feels great to forgive somebody that you have some attachments with in the past. One down and hundreds to go... Bwahahahahahaha...

NEWS FLASH: As I was making this post, a colleague of mine shouted that the salary was already credited! Yipee!!! Shop shop shop till I drop!

Whoooowwww... I didn't know my new phone allows me to edit pictures and have them cartoonised. I just find it so amazing.

Got nothing to do much here right now in the office, since it's a Sunday and there are less calls coming in. The solution for boredom is... BLOGGIN`!!! I can't believe I'm being productive today (in a sarcastic tone). I'm sure i'll get an award for this. Hmmm... what about "Most Productive Employee of the YEAR"? How does that sound? Bwahahahahaha...

I went home earlier around 6:30 in the morning right after my shift and slept for almost 14 hours. I woke up around 8:30 in the evening already and just have enough time to fix myself and get back to this boring work again.

I was blog hoppin` earlier as well, visiting some regular sites which serves as my jumpstart for the day. I can't start doing my regular routine without checking some updates from my friend's blogs especialy Mikey Mike. It's one of the best ways wherein we can check what's the latest in rumor or about the happenings.

Some people have various reasons why they joined the bloggin' cycle. Some love to write, some wanted to release their angst or frustrations, and some have it as their divertion and some wanted to be known. If you are going to ask me what's the reason why I joined the bloggin' craze is simply because, I want to be seen anywhere. I want to post my face on the net. I want people to know me. Weird. I guess I'm a big sucker for attention. But some people are saying that I have a gift in writing. I guess that's only an add-on to my main purpose in bloggin'. Hay what the heck! I love what I am doing right now and that serves as the best reason. I will suddenly stop updating if I no longer love bloggin'.

I was chatting with a special friend earlier. His name is Ash. I am happy for him now since he's finally attached. Just keep it cool Ash okay? and savor each moment together. By the way, I am not forgettin` about your promise. You have to treat me once you get your retro from your promotion. I guess this year is for you. Good things are coming in. Take care always okay? And don't spread my innocent looking picture.

Gotta get back to work now bitches!... leave me some love notes okay? Make me feel loved... Mwah!

Bitches, I would like you to meet Paw-Paw. He was abandoned by his Father and was left outside my old place, right at my door. Well, let's say that his "Father" was my ex-boyfriend. I gave Paw-Paw as a present to him in one of our monthsaries, and guess what? Right after we broke up, he returned most of the stuff I gave him. Hmmm... the love letters, cards, small gifts, and of course, our baby Paw-Paw. That asshole! The nerver he got there to return some of the stuff I gave to him and kept the expensive ones. That was just a major slap in my face.

I would have appreciated the thought of him keeping the gifts I gave than to return it back to me. I don't care if he'll throw all them in the garbage can. I mean those stuff belonged to him already, and not to me. But then again, what happened here I guess was a blessing in disguise. Right after I've adopted paw-Paw, I have someone in my room to sleep with. To share my bed with. And to listen to all those things that I needed to vent out. Paw-Paw was there in all times and he never got tired of listening. He's a witness already to some of my breakdowns and he's trying to keep this face, that tells me everything will be fine.

That was like more than a year already and still, Paw-Paw stays inside my room. Still sharing the same bed and all, and the best part there is that I could hug him anytime I want. He will always be my baby Paw-Paw and that nobody could replace him. Not even my crush or not even a 5 feet tall teddy bear (but I am sure would love to have one)... hmmmmm... let's see... maybe there is something that we could arrange. ;-)

And to you Paw-Paw, I will never ever leave you anywhere and I will keep you forever. Unless someone will adopt me this time.

ATTENTION: Help the Homeless... Take me home please... *wink* *wink*, *nudge* *nudge*... ;-)

Yipee!!! Finally I have a new baby. Nope, not a mushy-boyfriend-baby. It's my new N70 phone from NOKIA.

I've decided to replace my N6260, the first flip phone from NOKIA that can be rotated to a certain angle for you to take some pictures. I was really thinking that the first time I got that phone, it was a wise buy for me. But then, I was a bit disappointed. Well, what can you expect from a VGH Camera right? The picture quality was not that good. But, aesthetically wise, that old phone of mine was a beauty. Gorgeous. Sleek.

I hope this new baby of mine won't disappoint me. For now, I'm starting to use my new phone and I find it really cool. The picture quality was great, considering that it's 2 Megapixels. Hmmm... what else... oh yeah, it's 3G and I can now start having some Video Calling. Talking about live phone sex... Oppsss... Hehehehehehe...

I was contemplating before if I should buy a digital camera so that I could take some crisp pictures to post it here in my blog... then good thing, my mobile service provider, which is Globe offered me an early rebate. I have been with them for more than a year and voila! They shipped me this new phone in one condition, I should renew my contract with them for another 2 years. No sweat. I don't have any problems with their service and I do have plans of staying with them for long.

So there ya go... I don't know what to do with my old phone. I was thinking of selling it so that I can buy some additional stuff that I needed most or simply keeping it then have it activated using a different provider. But I don't think I will go with the second idea. I mean, I don't really see the point of keeping 2 phones with 2 different providers. It will only add up to my expenses and I don't want to confuse the people from my contacts to what number they should call or text me. I guess I should sell it... Hmmmmmm... But I don't know how much is the retail price of N6260 right now. I bought it last year for Php 24,000.00. But then, we know that phones could easily depreciate in a very short period of time. New phones are coming in, in a monthly basis. Still, I am definite I would sell my old phone.

If you guys are interested to buy my old phone, the N6260, it's still in good condition, never been dropped and works perfectly fine. Maybe Php 9,000.00 selling price is not bad at all. But I am not sure though. Just drop me a message if you are interested.

Or you can text or call me... +63917625PAUL. MWAH! ;-)

Bitches! I would like to introduce to you my Floor Assist here at work. She is the one responsible in helping my agents if they have questions about the account. So far, this FA of mine deserves a good publicity for all her hard work with the team. And with this, I am creating this post for her! This is long overdue but I have been waiting for the perfect picture that I could post together with the story.

This girl started as an agent, same with everybody else until she was promoted to be a Senior Specialist and now a Floor Assist. At first, you would not really notice her... I was even making a joke that she does not exist at all here on the floor. She was the first Floor Assist that was assigned to my team and that was really fun. But we were not that close at that time. She's the silent type and she thinks that she's the most gorgeous person here on the floor. Bwahahahaha...

You guys should see us together. How we could throw jokes at each other and some of the jokes honestly are too personal and if you would listen to us the first time, you could really say that I am the worst person in the whole world. Let me give you some lines of our usual jokes/bickering with each other:

Sheryl: Bayot!
Me: Pobre!
Sheryl: Mangtas!
Me: Isang Kahig Isang Tuka!
Sheryl: BAYOOOTTT!!!
Me: Bati'g nawong! Imong nawong murag kinumot sa pito ka yawa! Imong nawong murag kabong liki! Bwahahahahaha...
Sheryl: TL, walang personalan. No hitting below the belt! And did you know that out of 50 people, ikaw lang ang nag ingon nga bati ko ug nawong. The rest are saying that I am beautiful.

ASA KA ANA?!?! Lakas ng fighting spirit mo my FA! *peace*

Can you just imagine us... together? I mean she's like 4'11" and I'm like 6'1"... And sometimes, I would drag here on the floor and run like crazee until she could hardly breath. People are really saying that I am the bully in this Company. Well, one thing's for sure, my childhood was a bit crazee as well. I guess that explains everything.

Then, Alex christened her as Prinsesa ng Duhat (Princess of the Plum). It's because of her lips I guess or with the way she moves her lips. Bwahahahaha... there's something so strange about it. And the way she pronounces the letter "S"... it's really funny. You could see her tongue sticking out. Way to go Sheryl! Woohoo!!! You are one of a kind!

But then, at the end of the day, I love my Floor Assist! I enjoyed talking to her and at the same time, listening to her. She would tell me some serious stuff about life and all. Dang! If you guys knew what happened to her last year then you could really tell that this person is tough. Some of my friends outside work met her already during the Da Vinci Code night out. And they all loved her.

Sheryl, no matter how harsh I/we could get, that was not intentional at all. That is what we call... Cariño Brutal! And you know about that right? We all love you Prinsesa ng Duhat! Namumukod tangi ka! Saludo kami sa 'yo!

Downtime + Scripting = FUN FUN FUN!!! Well, our tool is down right now and there is no way we could access customer's accounts and we were informed to do scripting for 2 hours. Boy I am hoping these 2 hours will last a bit longer. But too bad some of them were asking for Supervisors and I hate Sup Calls. But got no choice I guess. Gotta have to do it. Ugh!

Okay, on the lighter note, I have an agent named Donald and he is a ballet dancer. Since there is nothing much to do here on the floor, I have asked him to do some moves and I will take some pictures of him. Just for fun. And guess what... he did some moves with no hesitations at all. I guess he loves attention more than I do. Bwahahahahahaha... Like TL like agent? That I don't know... Check some of his pictures bitches! This guy is really fun! Donald, I will slap you like a mad bitch if you will mention about resigning again. This post is for you!






I guess one major reason why our CSAT is so high is because of the environment we have in my team. Everybody's crazeee... Like we're a bunch of kids playing. No stress and pressures at all. Where on earth could you find an agent doing some ballet moves while taking in calls? Only in TEAM PAUL!!! CSAT guys! CSAT!!!

P.S.

What do you think of the quality of the pictures? I borrowed this N70 from my colleague and I will be getting mine this Tuesday. I need some feedback. ;-) Toodles!

This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or not guilty. Guilty if you have, Not Guilty if you haven't. Re-post and see what others have or have not done! I got this from my friend Kai in her Friendster Bulletin.




1. Dated outside your race?
GUILTY - once though!
2. Singing in the shower?
GUILTY - ala Mariah Carey!
3. Spit in someone's Drink?
GUILTY - hated that person! duh!
4. Played with Barbies?
GUILTY - and with Ken too!
5. Made someone cry?
GUILTY - meanie me!
6. Opened your Christmas presents early?
NOT GUILTY - haven't got any early Christmas presents.
7. Lied to a friend?
GUILTY - everybody does!
8. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?
NOT GUILTY - what the hell is "The Goonies"? Hehehehehe...
9. Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours?
GUILTY - I can be autistic with this!
10. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
NOT GUILTY - we don't have one at home.
11. Ate food that fell on the floor?
GUILTY - Bwahahahaha...
12. Went outside naked?
NOT GUILTY - but I went outside the house wearing undies to throw some garbage. ;-)
13. Been on stage?
GUILTY - frustrated performer here.
14. Been on stage naked or close to it?
NOT GUILTY - but I'm open to the idea.
15. Been in a parade?
GUILTY - i love to wave and smile to the people around me.
16. Been in a school play?
GUILTY - go back to question number 13. Exactly the reason why I was on the stage.
17. Drank beer?
SUPER GUILTY!
18. Gotten detention?
GUILTY - let's say I was the reason why my classmates had a fist fight during 1st year high. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
19. Been on a plane?
GUILTY
20. Been on a cruise?
NOT GUILTY - can't afford one. Unless someone will invite me. ;-)
21. Broken into a house?
GUILTY - My Tita's House. They locked the door when I went out to party. I destroyed the lock. *Grins*
22. Gotten a tattoo?
NOT GUILTY - been thinking of getting one though. What do you think?
23. Gotten piercings?
GUILTY - left ear. Planning to get a tongue pierce...
24. Gotten into a fist fight?
NOT GUILTY! - Cat Fight? GUILTYYYYY!!!
25. Gotten into a shouting match?
GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!!
26. Swallowed sea/pool water?
GUILTY - Ugh!
27. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?
GUILTY - i love the feeling of it. Hehehehehe...
28. Laughed so hard it hurt?
GUILTY - i could hardly breathe...
29. Tripped on your own feet?
GUILTY - a number of times already...
30. Cried yourself to sleep?
GUILTY - when my ex left me... Hate him!
31. Cried in public?
GUILTY - that was when my ex left me... Hated him more this time!
32. Thrown up in public?
GUILTY - blame it on the alcohol... Hehehehehe...
33. Lied to your parents?
GUILTY - i'm not gay dad! Bwahahahaha...
34. Skipped class?
VERY GUILTY - the leader of the band!
35. Cried so hard you threw up?
NOT GUILTY - i don't throw up... I faint. LOL!

Okay. We were informed by our Landlady that we only have until June 30, 2006 to look for a new place. What?!?!?! At first it all started as a rumor from the painters who did a job on our unit wherein I've heard from their conversation that our contract of lease won't be renewed. WTF! Like me and my housemates (Alex and Erwin) have learned to love this place already and I don't think we could found a new place to transfer in a short span of time. This alarmed us actually. Puhleaseee... Don't evict us.

At first I was thinking of some some possible reasons why our Dear Landlady won't renew the contract. Maybe because of all the boys we bring at home for some quick shag? Or is it because we're gay? Honestly, I don't think that was the main issue. Oh well, if she could give us our deposit now then we are more than willing to move. But the problem here is that, she could not provide us with the deposit we gave her. Now, where on earth could you find a tenant like us. We go home just to sleep and take a bath since we spend most of our time at work, or simply partying. And we pay the rent on time. Money is not an issue here.

Just now, Erwin gave me this good news. He said that our contract will be renewed and that we won't be evicted from the PBB House or what we call... "Bahay ni Lola". Hahahahahaha... But, in one condition. We are to let go of our wonderful HELPER. Oh well, we can't blame our landlady. This wonderful HELPER of ours is always in warla mode. She loves to bicker with the other household helps from the other units. I just can't blame her. Where on earth you could find a helper that has a tattoo and used to take drugs before. Oh yeah. No other than the one and only fantabulous helper of ours. Finally, there's a reason for her to go. But I have asked Erwin to talk to her and he replied with happiness that he will do it with all his heart. Bwahahahahahaha... Sometimes our house is like a living soap opera. You will see Erwin scolding the maid at the top of his voice and of course, the helper is crying. Mara Clara at its best!

So, there ya go... I can still keep my medium sized room to myself and still pay my cab fare to go to work for only Php 32.50. Yes bitches, my house and my office is like a stone-throw away. Teehee!

Finally, the movie that I have been waiting for is being shown here in Cebu. And I have bought the tickets already since last Month. That's how I could get "gaga" over something I like. I can still remember the first time I have read this book and I find it so cool. I have to admit I started to ask questions about the said validity of the book and I know that it was fictional at all. Though some of the facts there are true and they do exist. But can you just imagine how Dan Brown can connect the stories basing from the facts he got on hand? Fantabulous! I went out with some friends last night to watch the movie and for added details, just visit Mikey Mike's blog. www.chaoscouture.blogspot.com

I started having this Dan Brown fixation after reading his "Da Vinci Code" book. From Digital Fortress to Deception Point and to Angels & Demons. I have read all his books. And I love the way he created the plots.

I suggest that before watching the said movie guys, please read the book first. I know these two, the book and the movie are two separate entities and that we should not compare them. Both entities have their own targets and if we are going to compare the movie from the book, we will end up a bit disappointed. Again, in the movie, there were details that have not been included. The point here why we should read the book first is that it will serve as your guide. Or sometimes you would be amazed the way you have visualized the story boards from the book and from the time you will watch the movie.

Others are trying to escape from reading the book and from watching the movie. Others are being stopped from doing so. Main reason why they're doing this is that they beleived that the book is some sort of an "evil". I'm sorry but I don't agree to that at all. I know those people are entitled to their opinions and I can't blame them if they have small faith at all. Maybe they're scared that their faiths will be shattered after reading the book or maybe after watching the movie. Or whatever their reason would be, it's their own choice after all.

To those who wanna watch the said movie, you can still catch it in Ayala Cebu Cinema and some of the major movie houses in the Country.

You know who you are. You've been there for more than three years. You were there already when I was committed to my ex-partner (Wolverine) and you were willing to wait for me to be back in the single circuit again. We lost communication for quite sometime, more than 6 months, and when we started from square one, I was committed to a different person (J.L.). Still, you were there, willing to wait for me and that really made me think that you were the one meant for me.

I have been unfair. I can't deny that. I raise both my hands... your persistence is there and you have no idea how much you made me feel so loved at that time. Then we lost communication again. I know we were caught in this cycle that we can't escape. You were based in Manila during those days. Then, after a number of months, we started communicating again. And this time, I have known that you're based in HK. Work brought you there. Well, one reason that I never committed myself to you is that you're far from me. I can't bear the thought of committing myself to someone that's a hundred miles away. Manila is far from Cebu. And that added more when you told me that you're in HK already. The chances of giving myself to you is getting slimmer by the thread. I stopped.

And that time, I was single. We were both happy. We made plans of me going to HK and spend some time with you. I was really anticipating that it will happen. Finally... we have been exchanging thoughts and messages via sms, web or phone, but we never had the chance of meeting in person. I was really excited that this time, I can at least feel your hug. I have been unfair. I was giving you false hopes when I know for a fact that I can't committ myself to you. I was really scared of losing you again. That plan didn't work out. My HK trip didn't push through. And this time, you were the one turned incommunicado. This is getting harder and harder. And by this time, I met up someone. I've neglected you. I've pushed myself to forget you. I have convinced myself that I don't need you. This lead me to committ myself to someone else.

And now it's my turn to be incommunicado. I have changed my number without letting you know. I have blocked you from my messenger. I was thinking this will end up everything. The anticipations and disappointments should end once and for all. Then after a few months, my other side is telling me that I should at least talk to you. To face you. But I am so fuckingly ashamed of what I did. I have been keeping you hanging. And I can see where you're coming from. If this will happen to me, I can really tell to myself that I should stop this. I am not getting anything from it. But I've faced my nightmare. I have decided to unblock you from my messenger. The first thing I said to you was "I'm sorry". And from then on, you know that we're back in this same shitty cycle again. And this time, you said that everything's fine. You mentioned to me that you flew to Cebu just to look for me. I asked you how come it never crossed your mind to visit me here in the Office. I mean I am working in a known Company here in Cebu and I am definitely sure all the cab drivers knew the address of our Office. And then you said that you were scared to face me. Why? Why do we have to put ourselves in this kind of situation.

And now, you're saying that you are happy. You are finally committed to someone else after how many years of waiting in vain. Of waiting for me. And I am putting this in my blog now so that I could at least let go of my feelings. I can't say this straight to you. I am scared. I am a chicken shit. And our last conversation last night was a bit sour. A bit bitter. I know you have hated me. And I am in pain everytime you show concern to me when we chat. Telling me that I am not taking good care of myself and all. Please stop.

I have explained my side... partly though and not the whole story. And you said you don't want to talk about this anymore. And that shut me through. I have said to myself that I should really let you go. And this time I have to. Force myself to forget you. Remember I mentioned to you that I might be flying to HK 3rd or 4th week of June? I guess there's no reason for me to do that anymore. Everything's too late. I just want to let you know also that while I am writing this, I am feeling heavy. I wanna cry but I can't. This may sound so selfish but I can't accept the fact that you're happy now with your partner. I'm a complete coward. I have been telling myself before that you must be my soulmate. Someone out there that is almost perfect for me. Someone that is willing to love me unconditionally. But then, I have taken for granted all of this. And yes you're right... I should face the consequences of what I did. No need to rub it in. No need to crash me more.

I guess what they're saying is true. You can never have your soulmate as your partner. You will definitley know each other but faith will never bring you together. What you will end up is someone you can call your twin-flame. Picture out two flames being put together. They create a bigger flame. Complimenting with each other. Too compatible. Not with soulmates. Too complicated. Definitely not with soulmates. I need you to be my twin-flame and not a soulmate. If only I could turn back time.

And to you Mr. V, I will have to say goodbye. We can be friends, as what you've said, but please don't talk to me to how happy you are with your partner right now. That is all I am asking. Hope it will cross your mind to read this. Take good care of yourself always!

Until then.

"Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean"

- Come Clean by Hillary Duff

Well, it's been raining these past few days in Cebu and blame it all to typhoon "Caloy". I hafta admit this is the kind of weather I love and this is what I call as Paul's Weather. Gloomy. Sometimes I can say that my personality is totally gray and I am just pretending to be happy. Pretending I have no problems. Pretending everything is okay.

And I have been sick these days as well... my throat hurts, I have colds, and still I'm working like crazy. I just can't bear the the thought of me locking up myself inside the room doing nothing and imagining some ideals in life that may turn out painful to digest. Sometimes I can't help but think to how come my life has never been perfect. Or let's say, almost perfect in that sense. Talking about being idealistic... Hmmm... I tell you, I am not an idealistic person. I take things in a daily basis. I don't plan at all. Come what may.

But, if someone will ask me to what is my idealistic-point-of-view in life, then that would be having the perfect partner. Define perfect partner. Well, perfect partner is someone at around 25-30 years old, earning more than I do... let's say, his work is giving him a gross salary of at least 40K, well versed (could speak straight english), neat, smells great, spoils me like a brat, fair, mestizo-chinese, a bit hairy, nice set of teeth, nice toes, brutally romantic in bed, gives me surprise gifts like chocolates or stuff toys or flowers, doesn't give a shit if I'll gain weight like a hippo (god forbid), open about his sexuality, ready to be introduced to my family and vice-versa, and drinks and smokes like me. Whew!

Snap snap snap... back to reality. I guess that person does not exist yet. Or maybe he's out there. But the question is, am I his ideal partner? I hate this! And exactly the reason why I would rather work here in the office than stay at home doing nothing. Just taking liquids and medicines and watch all those cheezy drama dvds and grab those kleenex and start to cry like a complete spinster. Hahahahahaha...

Back to sanity Paul... enough with daydreaming. It will never happen to you okay? You will stay like that forever. Nobody out there will take you seriously. Not even half of what you wanted in a partner. You need to work your ass to the top so that you will have all the money and you can start posting an ad looking for your ideal person. Bah!

I wanna stay under the rain. I wanna soak myself and start dancing around like a crazy maniac. Then start feeling those tears running down my cheeks. Fall down, kneel and cry. Until someome will pick me up and take me back home... giving me the security I needed.

Drama Queen!

Okay... finally after ranting about me not able to party over the weekend, I was giving VUDU a big blast! I did report to work last Saturday but only for the first half of the shift. I was on half-day that day... teehee! They should let me party or else... Nahhhhh... I know a deserve a good break. After all, I reported to work over my rest day and they should at least let me party on a Saturday. That is all I'm asking from the management. Let me go home wasted... let me go home smelling cigs... let me go home drenched in sweat... and give me the best hang-over ever!

I was out that night with my long time friend Errol, a.k.a. "friend A" from my previous post. But the original plan is that Mikey will be joining us. But prior to that, he mentioned to me that he will do this video shoot thingee together with his teammates and that he will end up late. Hmmmm... then, at about 9-ish, he texted me, informing me that he's at home, and was about to sleep since he's up for more than 24 hours. Ugh! And the last thing I knew... he's in East West together with Glauce. Thanks Raine for the information. And that's when I texted him that he should join us in VUDU. So there, even if he's super tired already, still he manages to dance like Paris Hilton of course... kay kung wala pa lang siya ni apas kay mangluod na jud ko ana niya... hmp! Thanks Mike for being there! That was fun!

Oh yeah, there's this cute guy wearing gray LEVIs shirt and he's a hottie! We've been eyeing him but I think he liked Sherry, our sexy girl friend as well. And the DJ was a complete hottie. I forgot his name but I know he's a regular DJ of Embassy. Hehehehe... A bit mature but he's cool! Way too cool to be a DJ! And the way he dances... damn! *Paul clears his throat and shouts "I LOVE YOU DJ!!!"* And guess what, Sherry liked him... You know what Sher, we have the same taste when it comes to guys. We should not party together or else, we'll end up having a competition. LOL!

Here are some pics, courtesy of Mikey Mike of course...

Mikey Mike, Moi and Sherry... Sexy Sher that is... Tough Competition I will be facing! LOL!

Moi, Raine and Mikey Mike! "Scream if you want more!!!"

I woke up the next day with the worst hang-over, ever!... I could feel my head splitting into two... And I LOVE IT! Hahahahahaha... That is the best part when you party! It won't mean a thing if you won't feel like a shit the next day.

By the way... do we have local AA here? I need to sign up! Hik! "Hi, I'm Paul... and I am an ALCOHOLIC..." Toodles!

I just couldn't believe that I went out alone the entire day, yesterday. Ugh! Here's what happened to me...

1:45pm-4:30pm - Watched Mission Impossible III... alone!
4:30pm-6:00pm - Window Shopping... alone!
6:00pm-7:30pm - Body Massage and Foot Spa... alone!
7:30pm-8:30pm - Dinner at Casa Verde over my favorite "Simply Shrimp"... alone!
8:30pm-9:00pm - Watching TV in my room... alone!
9:00pm-onwards - Dozed off to sleep while hugging my big bolster pillow... alone!

What the hell is going on?!?! Am I back to being alone again? I know being alone is healthy sometimes but not all the time. Then I saw this couple having their intimate dinner at Casa and I was just looking at them. I know these are the moments wherein I could feel super ugly and not likeable at all. I know those couple are talking about me as well, since they're looking at my direction all the time. Maybe they are wondering to why on earth I am alone.

I know I am used to being alone. But sometimes it feels so depressing... like you wanna stab yourself with a knife and bleed to death. Morbid right? But I guess that's better than having the feeling of being alone. My friends are there but our schedules don't jive at all. Buuttah why?!?!? Why oh why?!?!

Good thing I am going out tomorrow night. I am hoping I would enjoy it with friends. At least this time I won't be feeling alone and sorry for myself. I will be posting some of the pictures here from tomorrow's partee at VUDU with Mikey Mike of course and my long time friend Errol! Weeeeee... More Vodka Sprites and Marlboros for me by then!

Okay guys, it took me some time to upload the pictures. Don't have time for that actually. I can only make posts that does not require uploading of pictures. I'll do it slowly this time... Until I have all the pictures uploaded in my blog!

This is the place where we stayed at... Mango Ray Resort! The rooms are so great! And their attendants are trained to give superb customer service.






I have my own version of "Look-Ma-I'm-Straight!" Pictures... See this Mike?




Pictures while enjoying the sun... More tan please...




And just check the sunset view at BORA... so magical and it's a complete bummer when you're alone looking at the view... Sigh.




When the night... has come... And the land is dark... and the booze... is the only... thing we see... Hehehehe... Party at CocoMangas and Club Paraw! And don't forget the gigantic native lamp of Coco. I love it!







And here are some random pics during our stay there in BORA...







Okay... I have added some additional pictures here in this post and still I have like tons more. Grrrrr... this will really take time until I have them all posted here. I will just choose some pics to be posted though. But I am telling you... I am not done yet. Hehehehehehe...

I so love the pics... Teehee!

This is how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and than pass out letters to those who want to play along. ChaosCouture gave me the letter "B". (copy & paste?LOL)

1. BIATCH - this is one perfect description of moi... I bitch around all the time.
2. BORACAY - top of the charts so far for the best summer vacation... EVER!!! I wanna go back there the soonest possible. Mikey, make sure to prepare for it. That's our next goal for this year. Woohoo!!!
3. BEAUTIFUL - this is me again. I'm beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, hot, etc. Just leave it as it is okay? I know myself better than you do... Teehee!
4. BAYOT - this term is also known as gay. Bayot is a cebuano word for it. I am gay, a proud gay for that matter. My friends and my family accepted me for being a big BAYOT!
5. BOYS - more boys please... boys, boys, and all boys!!! I'm sure that's all we want in this life... Ahihihihihihi...
6. BEND-OVER - now tell me who deosn't like this word... just imagine your guy saying this to you in a forceful manner. I will definitely do this with no hesitations at all. Bwahahahahahaha...
7. BOXER-BRIEFS - my all time favorite underwear. And I love looking at guys wearing nothing but only their boxer briefs. It turns me on... I have lots of it as well. Ready for action anytime...
8. BESTIALITY - the only thing I haven't done so far.. and I don't think I can do it myself. Or, if we will think boys as beast... then I am long overdue for being an advocate of this.
9. BEAUTIFUL THINGS - this is the song that I love to listen before starting with work. DJ Tiesto's Beautiful Things. Love it, love it, love it!
10. BOUQUET - i have been dreaming and wishing that someone will give me a bouquet of flowers. I'm wondering when will that be... I'm 24 already and time is running out. Will someone send me flowers? Please? I am waiting...

Whew! This is fun! I haven't thought I can come up with these... No sweat.

Happy Tagging!

One Two Three PASS!

Remember my previous post about my "ex-partners" friends? And the reason why they broke up? Because of this half-aussie guy that was linked to friend A during the time of their relationship? And eventually this half-aussie guy mentioned to my friend B regaridng what happened to them before with my friend A? The turn of events this time is so sickening that I could hardly breathe after hearing it.

I find it so lame for my friend B to explain things to my friend A that he needed space and time alone so that he can re-assess their relationship! That asshole! I hate him! All the while, this half-aussie guy and my friend B is having their own intimate relationship. And what has been stopping them is that my friend B and friend A are still committed with each other. Ugh!

The reason why this came to my attention is that one of my colleagues here at work went to Bantayan with them. And this colleague of mine said that the BF of my friend B is so cute. Slip of the tongue I guess and I was blown for a few seconds. It took me some time to absorb what I just heard from him. It's now confirmed... This aussie guy and my friend B is having a relationship. I am definitely sure that my friend A is not aware of this. I guess that's one big way to end up your 5-year long relationship.

It's like a game we call "One-Two-Three PASS"... Pass your partner to the next person beside you... Exchanging partners and all. Been there... done that! I am a master of it but for me, they are doing this like a novice. I despise them. They are not my friends! I don't wanna join their circus! Screw them all! I am still shaking in anger...

I am sure these friends of mine will end up as enemies. The bitterness is definitely there... I feel sorry for them. I guess that's just the way it is...