Okay, it's been a while since I posted here something that I have been thinking about or pondering about. As we all know, I will be turning 20 something next month. And the thought of me, reaching that age is quite disturbing. I can still remember clearly when I was 18, wherein older guys usually stopped themselves from committing since I was a kid or just having the time of my life. And I have wished to myself that I would love the thought of lying about my age. In that way, they wouldn't have any hesitations in invading my inner soul.

But now, I'm beginning to regret such notion. It seems that I haven't accomplished anything. I am just one of those grayed masses out there, trying to search for the true meaning of their existence. I have enjoyed sex for one. Earning more than a normal guy at my age would do. I have outstanding friends. I live independently and I am used to this. I can do anything I want. What more could I ask for? I am so messed up right now. Sometimes I would notice myself staring blankly trying to figure out something. Bah! I guess I am just one of those twisted minds trying to act normal.

I need movements. I need progression. I am stuck in my position right now and I don't have the drive to work at all. For this month alone, I have took some time off and barely worked something out in the office. I am bored. I am overcooked and needed something more. I am living a life of redundancy. Oh god I can't believe I'm ranting about this stuff. That's what I am thinking right now when we talk about career. I need to go one level up before this year ends. If this will fail, I need to venture outside to some of our competitors and I am sure they will offer me something better. Something I needed.

With my love life... that's no question. I am happily committed and there's nothing I could ask for more in that aspect. Finally, someone who could dominate my personality is here. I have never felt loved like this before. And I can say that he's the one. I have tied myself to him already and this is a commitment I could't drop at all. Me and my partner will be living in the same roof sooner after we have finalized everything. I am settling down with my baby. Planning of getting a dog and named it "Cara". Combine all our resources and have some savings for the rainy days. Budgeting everything. Doing things a normal couple would do. Maybe fight or argue with something but ending the day with a big kiss and a hug.

And this time, I am dead serious as well in toning down. I am cutting my carbs and I need to do my badminton session religiously and to jog every other day in interval with my game. I know I am not fat but I need to manage my weight. High-Blood and Heart Problem is in my bloodline and I need to do something in preventing this to happen. I wanna die looking great!

And before this year ends as well, I will be travelling outside the country together with my partner of course. I need to plan this out and I am thinking of some interesting places already. I have tried planning for this last year and it never happened. But this year there's a reason for me to do it. I know that we only live once and we need to do something out of the ordinary and just enjoy what we have and ending doing them with no regrets at all.

Why am I saying all these things. I am not that old right? Or this one of the things we need to tackle if we are more inclined to vanity. But in this era right now, almost everyboy's vain. We are allowing ourselves to get sucked in this spot. We are allowing ourselves to be ensalved by this evil. I know you can all relate to this. Please join me in holding each other's hand as we say... "I am a slave of Vanity... I am pretty... I need to look good... Hail to Vanity..."

What about you? What have you accomplished so far? What are the things you've done when you're at the age of 20 something? Maybe I am over reacting or just being crazy. Ugh! Blah blah blah! Yada yada yada!

I so fuckinly need some medical attention. AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

My first tattoo... whirlwind romance...

I could not forget my bonding session with Goddess Arni during our tattoo session. Though I have plans already of getting one but the plan materialized last July 7, 2006. God! That was excruciating and I was biting the pillow all the time. And for this month alone, things were happening so fast. For one, I am now engaged with this special someone and I will be making a separate post for that. Just trying to keep the details for now.

I know some of you guys here could not imagine me having a tattoo but now you have to beleive it. Same with my ear piercing. I have decided to get one back in college to no apparent reason. I guess I'm just bored with life and I wanted to try new things. Zairex, the guy who gave me the most painful experience so far in my life informed us that 70% of the people who decided to have a tattoo are living with regrets. Well, I am proud to say that I belong to the 30% of that population. I love my tattoo and the next time he gets back from Dubai, I will get a new one. I'm thinking of a yin-yang design to be tattooed on my back. I am so excited and yes, what they're saying is true. After you have your first tattoo and you love the result, it will be addictive and that you will definitely miss the pain. Sounds so masochistic right? I guess I am. ;-)

You guys can visit this site TATTOO DAY from Arni's Multiply Account to check some of our pictures together. And boy I so love her tattoo as well. You are truly a goddess my friend! Goddess + Gorgeous = Arni.

And speaking about my special someone, we are getting married soon. I know you're wondering how did it all happen considering that I have been a big cynic and jaded. Well, i have proven myself wrong this time. There really is someone out there meant for you and could give a definite reason why you exist in this cruel world. I am so in love and I could live feeling like this forever. It's a whirlwind romance but this time I know he's the one. Just like what my friend Nina said to me... you will just know that he is the one. No need to explain since what you're feeling is mixed.

I know there's no such thing as permanent in this world but only changes. Well, I am hoping he won't change. And this will be my last stop. You will know more about him on my next post. I need to think of something special to write here only for him. For us.

Cheezy right? I don't care bitches! Mwah!