All I can say is... he's cute... he's nice... he made me laugh... he knows how to get my attention... he's sensible enough to catch my drift... and here I go again... putting myself into trouble...

Dang!!!

Maybe you guys are wondering to what I have been doing this past week away from work... nothing special actually.

1. Sleep

2. Eat

3. DVD Marathon

4. Sleep

5. Eat

6. Get wasted

7. Sex and more sex

8. Back to number 1

Nothing fancy I told ya... Just keeping myself away from work for a week is the best therapy I ever had.

And now I am back here in the office... trying to clear more than 200 work-related e-mails.

LA TORTURA!!!

Hi Guys... I know some of you are wondering to how come I haven't been updating my blog anymore. Well, being a loser that I am here in the office, blogspot is blocked. I can only view them but I could not post new entries.

I have been taking good care of my multiply account lately and if you are looking for a real time update to what's going on with my life, feel free to check it.

http://queeraspaul.multiply.com

I have tried doing the cross blogging from my multiply account but it's not working. Maybe there is something shitty going on with our network or what? I don't really know.

I miss each and everyone of you here! MWAAAHHHHH!!!

I was searching thru my contacts and here I go again... I stumbled into something funny that lead me and Sheryl crying in tears while reading the entry. I found this from an online buddy named Tristan (http://asphyxiat3d.multiply.com/). He got this website link from his multiply and browsed thru it. Brilliant and cool. And aside from the fact that he's cute. Ahem.

So, there's this segment called Dear Manay Letty. And on that particular segment, our own Manay Letty is too tired to write something and that was the reason why a guest writer dropped by to stir something for us. Interesting Madam BJ (Biragada Jones) was a blast! Here is the link (http://tristancafe.com/cols/dear-manay-letty/31/).

Here she is...

"Haller to all of you! This is your friendly neighbor in the community, Madam Brigida Jones, local version ni Bridget Jones. But I prefer to be called Madam BJ, ang babaeng mahilig sa BJ (Bukayo Jam), paborito ang BJ (Buko Juice), at expert sa BJ (Bitchy Journals). If I will be given the opportunity, gusto kong maka-BJ (Bungee Jumping) si Dennis Trillo.

Nandito ako upang tulungan kayo sa inyong mga problemang walang kwenta at upang dutdutin ang inyong malikot na imahinasyon. Ok, so umpisahan na natin ang pagbabasa sa inyong liham dahil inuubos nyo na ang oras kong mga letse kayo!

Ako si Madam BJ, at ito ang inyong kwento…"

And here is the first letter we have from an avid fan...

Dear Madam BJ,

Hillow! Ferst and for all, I would like to great all of you a better days.

I wrote becos I wanted to cunsolt my problems. It is my wish upon a mega star to work in a call center. I am very profacient in english words. I am also very welling to enter the graveyard ship. Bisides the point, I have a lot of expiriencis in the telephone becos i have lots of phone pals befour. But the problems is, I already have a round-trip tiket to all the call centers in Libis, Ortigas, and Makati but they are united in their replies: they will just make a telephone call on me. Until now I didn’t receive any telephone calls, either landline or pay phone.

I hope you can give me some tips in finding a call center. thanks and more powers!

Lovengly Yors,
Inday

********************

Dear Inday,

Inday naman, sa susunod na magpadala ka ng sulat, samahan mo na din ng Biogesic. Dahil sumakit ang ulo ko sa pagbabasa ng sulat mo! Peste ka!

Willing ka kamong pumasok sa graveyard ship? Pwes, ako mismo ang magpapasok sa yo sa graveyard! Baka sakaling me future ka pa dun sa pakikipag-usap sa mga kaluluwa! Impakta ka! Susme! Ngayon ko lang nalaman na may libingan pala sa barko!

Nagmamaganda,
Madam BJ

You better check that one guys. It was soooo funny. Entertaining and worthy to share to gorgeous people like you. ;-)

I have offered something ordinary yet special but I felt like it was not appreciated at all.

People are bugging me to delete my entries from my blog but it came to my senses that I have never stepped on someone else's shoes for that matter.

I'm sorry but I feel like you're pushing me away. You just did actually. And as what I said, I don't care what will your friends feel towards me or how they will see the whole situation. One thing's certain... I have never played "bullshit" on you. I was honest and straight. And this time I am proud to say that I have never considered on playing with someone else's feelings or emotions.

If you are taking that in a bad way then there is nothing that I have to be sorry about. I did the right thing.

P.S.

To those people reading my blog... continue on reading if you feel like it. And if you think I have offended someone from my posts then let me know. But one thing's for sure... I am not deleting them.

P.P.S.

I promised someone I will be deleting those posts and I'm sorry if I have changed my mind. After all... What I have put in here is the truth. And no one can change that.

I knew it! I knew it the first time I got the first message.

Actually, I confronted and asked this person since day one and he denied that he's the one who's been sending those stuff and all. And yes, he's been reading my multiply as well and I guess you already know what was the third gift. As I previously mentioned, it would be nice if it's balloons and a stuff toy. And there I have them.

Hmmm... honestly, I have talked to this person before already and told him that it won't work for us. And we just had dinner before doing this post. I have said my piece and settled everything once and for all. I did thank him for the thoughtfulness and for these past days of "kilig" experience for me. I am only hoping that he will be able to understand completely the reason why.

I know I was in-love with "love". And I am about to change that. I know I can't make sacrifices and I just can't commit myself for now. Just base it from my priorities guys. If you don't then read it from my previous post. Duh! So there... he was sad about it but I did my best in explaining things to him in a mature way, and this time, I have said it straight. Not with excuses and all. Plain and simple. I can't commit and I don't wanna be tied for now.

So, here we are now, back to our old and normal programming of the show. No more mysterious gifts and notes.

P.S.

Hope you will find someone who could reciprocate what you feel. And who would love you more than you can love. See 'ya around!

P.P.S.

I will be attaching the picture of the balloons and the stuff toy when I get back this Sunday. On my way to grab some booze now. ;-)

1. Would you...

2. Go out

And the third message is... NOTHING! Got nothing for today guys. Hmmmm... been expecting something actually but I guess something came up. Maybe that person found someone new... someone more interesting I guess someone worth receiving more surprises.

Hmp... And it will be my off today and tomorrow and I am on leave this Saturday. That's three days of no updates for me. Worry not, if something comes up, you will all know when I get back.

I wore my white-crisp-button-up shirt pa naman thinking that someone will drop by and will look for me hugging a big stuff toy with matching dozens of balloons. Bwahahahahahahaha... I love making up fantasies actually and I know it will happen soon.

And for now... I will just try to ignore it and go on with my life. I'm sure AA will invite me soon to be a member. Talking about booze drowning guys! Just love it!

But again... Boohoo Paul! Boohoo!

...Okay, this is getting weird. I received another message from a card together with a bouquet of flowers. Yes... a bouquet of flowers.

Let me summarize the messages I got so far...

1. Would you... (together with a cake from my previous post)

2. Go out (together with a bouquet of flowers)

And I am now wondering what will be the third message. I'm scared and at the same time happy and at the same time elated. So, this is how it feels pala if someone sends you stuff without you knowing who... Sweet sixteen ba eto?!?!

Now I can't help but think about what's happening so far... I can't concentrate at work. La Tortura!

Come out come out wherever you are. I'm dying with excitement.

"Would You..."

This is the message I got form the card together with the cake I received from our Receptionist here in the office. And they don't know from who. And I don't want to assume as well. Which leads me clueless.

Thanks for the cake. Love it. But my question is... "Would you..." what?

And if you are reading this post... I guess you know what I mean. Complete your sentence... not with an ellipsis.

Yummy. I guess you would want me to gain weight. ;-)

Well, some people have their own priorities in life and that may vary depending on their needs. I know for a fact that I have this weird order when we talk about priorities. And honestly, this is how I feel about myself. I have been telling people about this and at least they will have an idea to what kind of a person I am.

1. WORK

2. FRIENDS

3. FAMILY

4. LOVELIFE

So, there ya go. But there are times wherein we can interchange one from the other depending on the need but most of the time, that's how i weigh my life. And I am not saying that I don't have a choice to how come i have these order. Of course I have a choice and this is what I think will work best for me. And the downfall for this would be ending up SINGLE.

Oh well... we don't know if this will change 5 years or 10 years from now. I wouldn't know... that would be with a help from someone or with the help of myself alone.

What about you? what are your priorities in life? Are we on the same page or not?

I was searching for the term "alcoholic" in the net and I stumbled with this information. This is from Kids Health by the way. Of course, some of the sites were offering scientific definitions and all and I simply hate those terms. It gives me a terrible headache. So, this one is perfect.

Alcoholic

Say: al-kuh-hah-lik

An alcoholic is someone who frequently drinks too much alcohol and can't stop. When people drink too much, they can become drunk and may not realize what they're doing. Sometimes it can be scary to see someone who's an alcoholic because the person may say or do things that hurt other people. If you think someone close to you might have a problem with alcohol, talk to a grown-up you trust.

It occured to me maybe I'm an alcoholic. With the definition provided above... I am sure I'm alcoholic. But I would like to disagree. I don't drink if I know I have work. Meaning, for 5 days straight... I'm sober. It's only during my off wherein I drink like a mad man. Two days in a week, each night I'm drunk. I can say that I usually consume more that what is expected for a social drinking (weng-wengs, red horse, scotch, vodka, etc). I just can't help it. My alcohol tolerance is not normal. I have friends who drinks like me and we all love the feeling of it. But if I'm sober, I find it so stupid to drink and to waste some cash and by getting the worst headache out of it. But I just can't stop.

I don't exercise... I consider shopping as a form of exercise. I love to sleep. My normal sleeping hours is like 10-12 hours. I'm sleepy if it's less than that and as my friend would tell me... I enjoy having my heart-failure-prone-sleeping. I'm a sloth. You will only find me useful if i'm at work or in bed. But good thing I'm not the addictive kind of a person. I don't easily get attached to anything. Oh like who cares.

Alcoholic or not... I don't think I can stop drinking. At least give me once a week. Promise.

Drinking Spree??? Just call me!!! ;-)

Am I Not Gay Enough?!?

It pisses me off sometimes when those straight male population gets envious/jealous with the flower-power-cute-gorgeous gay guys. This happened to me a lot of times already. I almost got into trouble last night. The guy was like screaming something and I tell you... he was really mad at me. I can't blame him. I should be blaming his flirt girlfriend! Ugh! This is useless and stupid.

All the while, we were there enjoying our beer, music started to play, the girls are in the mood to dance and rub their bodies with anyone. I have to admit I dance usually but not that night since I was wearing something casual and I'm on my italian leather shoes with a wooden-like sole. Imagine that. Do you think you can dance well? I can't. So, this particular girl started to dance near our table and was pushing me to dance with her. I ended up smiling saying that I'm not in the mood to dance. That was fine... but this bitch can't stop herself. She was literally throwing herself to dance with me and same thing. I declined. She then approached me again for the last time and she mentioned something like her boyfriend will kill her anytime. I was like... WTF!!! And when I look at their table, the boyfriend was like screaming and pointing at my direction already. Here we go again!!! Another male hormone acting strange I tell you. The girls were just stopping him from doing anything bad. But I was ready myself at that time. I was holding an empty bottle of red horse and just in case he'll approach me... a broken bottle will come in handy. Oh yeah... during that incident... there's this girl on the other table calling out my name as well. For crying out loud! I AM GAY! 100% GAY!!! We then decided to transfer to another place to continue our drinking session. I was totally bummed by that incident. And I ended up laughing about it.

It's not flattering at all to be swooned by girls. I am not happy about it. I feel sad about it. I feel sad for the girls. What do you think I should be doing next time? Wear a shirt that says like... "Back-off Vagina! We prefer the same thing!" or "100% Bottom" or "Pink Brigade"??? Is that enough for them to understand? This is just crazy... Super crazy!!!

To those who know me... I have a question... I know I am gay enough but what do you think? AM I NOT GAY ENOUGH???